"I would never kill somebody. Not unless they pissed me off."
"I'm not fat, I'm big-boned."
"Too bad drinking scotch isn't a paying job, or else Kenny's dad would be a millionaire."
"The only way to fight hate is with more hate."
"That's fine! I like playing with myself! I'll play with myself all day long!"
"I am nothing like a family guy! When I make jokes, they are inherent to a story- deep, situational, and emotional jokes based on what is relevant and has a point! Not just one random, interchangeable joke after another."
"Don't you ever, ever compare me to Family Guy."
"Starvin' Marvin, that's my pot pie!"
"Just you know, don't touch me cause im not into girls so it kinda grosses me out."
"Mr. Garrison, why do poor people always smell like sour milk?"
"Love is like taking a dump, Butters. Sometimes it works itself out but sometimes you gotta give it a nice, hard, slimy push."
"Don't Be Sad, Butters. What Awaits Each Person In Heaven Is Eternal Bliss, Divine Rest, And $10,000 Cash. Goodbye Butters! I'm Going To A Better Place. Perhaps I'll See You Again Sometime! Goodbye!"
"Hippies, they're everywhere"
Cartman: "...and he has told me how I can make 10 million dollars."
Kyle: "How?"
Cartman: "Boy Band."
Stan: "Boy Band?"
Cartman: "Boy Band."
"You're a Ginger, a Jew and from Jersey. Three strikes, Kyle, you're out!"
"They're not people! They're hippies!”
"Your tears are so yummy and sweet. Ohhh, the tears of unfathomable sadness! Mmm yummy, yummy you guys!"
"Jimmy, do you know what happened to the last people Germans were pissed off at? Tell him, Kyle."
"I made you eat your parents!"
"I'm not just sure, Butters. I'm HIV Positive."